josh holloway's interview in usa today

HOLLYWOOD — Four seasons of helping his friends survive Lost's mysterious island has softened old James "Sawyer" Ford, a former con artist who was recently seen cradling Claire's baby boy.

As the show closes in on Thursday's two-hour season finale (ABC, 9 p.m. ET/PT), emotions run high as Sawyer (Josh Holloway) and company endure a series of game-changing events.

"It's kind of violent," says Holloway, 38. "There's definitely a body count going on. And there's a moment where a big decision has to go down."

Flash-forwards have indicated that Jack, Kate, Hurley, Sayid, Sun and baby Aaron (the so-called Oceanic Six) escape the island. The fates of all the others are unknown. Why would Sawyer choose such uncertainty?

"He realizes some sacrifices need to be made," the actor teases on a hike through the dusty trails of L.A.'s Runyon Canyon while dragging on a cigarette. "And I think he's afraid to go back to society. He has gone through an evolution on that island. He has had to face all these demons and he has grown — enough to know he's not OK with himself anymore. Instead of destroying lives, he has saved some lives. He cares about people … and has fallen in love."

Those deep feelings for Kate (Evangeline Lilly) come into play as he is presented with the possibility of losing her forever. "That is a very important part of the finale that I can't talk about," he says.

Like his character, Holloway has experienced his own evolution. Being away from L.A. these past four years has allowed him the opportunity to clear his head of insecurities that, he concedes, "were really eating at my soul." Those insecurities were replaced with feelings of entitlement once he hit it big. But now he has settled into a comfortable mid-way point of peace, self respect and confidence — life lessons he now hopes to pass onto a child.

When Holloway married Yessica Kumala in Hawaii in October 2004 (just as the series was gaining heat), both agreed that their desire to be free to explore the world did not allow for children. Now, having spent a good amount of time traveling, Holloway says, "we have changed our minds … only recently. Basically, nature happened. If you're in a loving relationship with someone, (having) children becomes a part of it. I don't know exactly when or how, but we're very open to either having our own children or adopting."

From the top of the canyon, hikers are awarded a breathtaking view of both the Hollywood sign and the city itself. Along a trail, the actor is recognized by two student filmmakers who ask if he wouldn't mind making a cameo in a short film they are shooting. He can't say yes, of course, and politely explains his agents' role. "I dig you, man," he tells one of them.

Holloway can't help but be reminded of his own years struggling to make it as an actor in L.A. before Lost catapulted him to stardom. When the show ends in 2010, he says, "we'll probably get us a little place here because the biz is here, and I want to stay in it." But he will also spend time at his home in the Colorado Rockies and the Hawaiian beach house he intends to maintain as a rental.

He's already experiencing "a new hunger to really express what's inside of me as an artist."

For Holloway, that means taking chances.

He began his career modeling for high-end fashion houses, "hanging out" with the likes of Gianni Versace and Giorgio Armani. But after landing Lost, he turned his back on that world "to be respected as an actor."

Four years later, he is allowing himself to be photographed as the face of Cool Water cologne, replacing pro surfer Laird Hamilton. Promotional images depicting Holloway cliff-diving in China have appeared in Europe over the past two years, but only now is he making a splash in American markets.

Preparing for a future, he is finally taking seriously the production company he formed primarily for tax reasons. "I have all these ideas for shows — from reality, to writing, to directing," he says, clearly excited. He recently wrote two comedy skits he'd love to perform as a guest host on Saturday Night Live.

Beyond that, he and Yessica are discussing opening a day spa. Perhaps offering a hands-on deep tissue massage from Sawyer himself?

"Of course," Holloway declares with great bravado, followed by a wicked chuckle. "In my Spee-do!"

source : usa today